When did you realize that you love someone?

I'm always excited hearing peoples' stories of when they knew they were in love, or how all of a sudden it instantly hit them... they were head over heals.

I'm starting to have feelings for a certain special someone. It is good looking co-worker. I've questioned myself numerous times as to whether or not it's too soon. I think a lot of people would say it is, but then again same said a lot of people, have fortunately, never walked in my shoes.

Now, don't get me wrong, my son is my #1 priority. Always will be. There will be pics of his father up and of us as a family. That will never change. You have to admit, it would take one special man to be able to feel unthreatened or totally ok with that. It has crossed my mind over the last few months of dating again. I'm only 37. I don't want to live in the past. That is unhealthy for my son and for myself. My son deserves only the best left in life. He lost his hero, his father at a very early age. He desperately wants one. He calls all men around Jas' age, daddy. I wonder if he's like that now, what will it be like in school? Especially where we live, where there are no divorcees, all kids have daddys.

Again, don't get me wrong. I am not looking for a Daddy for my son in the sense you may think. That will though, be a big prerequisite of the man I commit to. He has to realize that he would become the major father figure in my son's life. That he would have to love him as his own, to actively take part in Brady's growing life. This man would have a lot to live up to in my eyes.

This future man would also have to be able to accept that my son is my first priority. That I'm respnsible for him and that I will try my damnest not to allow anyone to break his heart again.. at least until he starts dating girls ;)

Now that I've written this short story.. I want to add that this good looking co-worker, who happens to be a pysch nurse, is sweeping me off my feet. No, he's not perfect, but I like his imperfections. And anyone who knows me, knows that I'm far from perfect. He treats me like a princess. I get butterflies in my stomach when I see him. His smile melts my heart and he has the kindest eyes I've ever seen. He's intelligent, smart, compassionate, and fun to be around. He makes me laugh, is caring and is a great Dad to his kids. One is living on her own, another lives with him. I've met his son. He is a well mannered, responsible 14 year old. I am amazed at how well put together this kid is. He makes straight A's, plays hockey and works part time. For this kid to be who is today, at 14, you know a lot of it is his father's doing. Good working co-worker, who looks so much like Alan Jackson, people comment on it all the time, and from herein I will call AJ for short, has raised his son, on his own, since son was 3. No involvement from his ex wife. That in itself is admirable to me.

So, we're taking things slow, at my request. He knows about Jason, obviously, was working at the hospital at the time when Jas was ill. He is open and honest and is compassionate when it comes to listening to me talk about Jas.

I wasn't looking when this man entered my life. He became a good friend first and it has now become more than that. I have strong feelings for him and he has just told me the magic words and respects that I've been guarded, but those walls have started to crumble down. We'll see what the future holds, but until then, I'm going to enjoy the moment.