First Loves

Do you remember yours? If you didn't marry him/her, do you still think about them?

A very good friend of mine recently ran into hers. They have been dating and taking it slow. I'm very happy for her. I've thought about my first love over the years. I ran into him about 5 years ago and he still gave me goosebumps. We were high school sweethearts, he then played a professional sport for awhile till he got injured, we were engaged for 3 years and then he broke up with me. Broke my heart. For 3 years after we would continue to see each other off and on till I finally ended it. I always thought, if it was meant to be, it would happen. He got married, had two little girls and then got divorced. I have been thinking of him a lot lately. Dreamnt about him a couple of times too.

Then hearing from my gf about how she ran into her first love, has got me thinking too and a little bit envious. I know all I have to do is pick up the phone and call him, but am scared. Scared in case he does have a new gf or has even remarried.

I truly believe in fate. I also believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe he'll enter back into my life again, maybe he won't. It sure would be nice to hear his voice again.

On another note, good looking coworker stopped by last night after Brady went to bed. We've been talking on the phone, take our breaks at work together, etc. We talked a long time last night. Had a couple of drinks, mmm Kahlua...and he told me he told me he's starting to fall for me. I was like, wooah nellie. It's been 3 weeks since we've been chatting etc, wth? He said he really likes me, thinks I got my shit together, calls me beautiful and sexy all the time, is always complimenting me (not over naseausily sp?) but still. It's nice and all, but back the truck up a bit. Told him, that if he doesn't slow down, he's gonna run me off. That I already told him I was not looking or wanted any type of commitment. Was not ready for that. Am just getting used to being single and am starting to enjoy that. That my son comes first in my life. That I work 4 or 5 days straight, two days off, then another work stretch again. My two days off are spent cleaning, playing with my son, etc. I don't really have that much time for myself. Maybe a couple of times a month, but don't know how much more than that. He has asked me out on 5 different dates for events over the next 3 weeks. Told him, we'll see. Maybe one of them, but that's all I would commit to. He's super nice, told me he'd go at my speed and won't rush or push me. We'll see.