The drama in my life

A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks. Will start by saying Brady had tubes put in his ears on June 29th. Dan and I took the two middle boys with us and we all stayed at my Mom's place for the weekend. The boys were very good. My Mom fell in love with them all and is treating them like her own grandchildren. I met one of Dan's brothers and met the boys grandparents from their Mom's side. The weekend was great. Spent Friday evening with my sister and her husband. Julie and I drank a couple of bottles of wine coolers and we got all giggly and had a lot of fun.

A few days after we got back, Dan became depressed. Got in one of his dark depressions. Has happened one time before that I've seen. We had been under a lot of stress due to now raising his two younger sons who were juvenile delinquents in the city.

Well last Wednesday, he told me he wanted to move out. Did it when I was at work yet. I came home and kicked his ass out of the house. Ended up he was planning on leaving with the boys that night anyways. He is staying with a woman he had a fling with who happens to be the same age as my mother. Now Dan tells me this woman is still seeing her boyfriend and Dan living there for a couple of weeks till he finds another house, is strictly platonic.

My heart wants to believe this but my head is finding it hard to trust him anymore. He calls here and asks to come see me every couple of days, still tells me he loves me and he has issues he needs to work on. He started to see a counselor and says he needs to work on himself before he can work on our relationship. I did agree with that. This is the second time he's done this to me. I don't have a revolving door on my heart and I will not do that to my son. My son is my number 1 priority and his well being. He along with me need stability in our lives not someone who comes in and out when he's feeling good.

I do love Dan very much. I hope that he does get his shit together. I just know I can't live like this. I went and saw my own doctor yesterday due to all the stress I've been under. He took me off of work till the 30th of this month so I can get my life back together and spend some quality time with my son. I am also going to start seeing a counselor tomorrow to talk about everything that's happened in the past year to me. I never sought grief counseling, thought I could do it on my own. I thought I could get through this break up easier than I have because of all that I've gone through in the past year. I was wrong. I need to become strong again, not just for my son, but for myself.

One thing that is kinda funny in this whole situation is, Dan told me the other day that when people found out that I was single again, guys would come knockin. Dan has trust issues with me and is jealous, though he hid it from me, until recently. It's one of his biggest issues that he has and he has to fix that. But the funny thing is, a neighbor who is acquantances of Dan came over and asked where Dan has been. I told him what happened and we talked for a bit. He then told me that he knows it's too soon to ask me out but wanted to let me know he's interested and if we could have coffee sometime. He's very good looking, nice guy, etc. I'm just not ready. I want to take time for myself now and my son. I'm not getting involved again with anyone for a long time.

So that's what's been going on in my world lately. Stress, stress, heartbreak and more stress.