The drama in my life

A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks. Will start by saying Brady had tubes put in his ears on June 29th. Dan and I took the two middle boys with us and we all stayed at my Mom's place for the weekend. The boys were very good. My Mom fell in love with them all and is treating them like her own grandchildren. I met one of Dan's brothers and met the boys grandparents from their Mom's side. The weekend was great. Spent Friday evening with my sister and her husband. Julie and I drank a couple of bottles of wine coolers and we got all giggly and had a lot of fun.

A few days after we got back, Dan became depressed. Got in one of his dark depressions. Has happened one time before that I've seen. We had been under a lot of stress due to now raising his two younger sons who were juvenile delinquents in the city.

Well last Wednesday, he told me he wanted to move out. Did it when I was at work yet. I came home and kicked his ass out of the house. Ended up he was planning on leaving with the boys that night anyways. He is staying with a woman he had a fling with who happens to be the same age as my mother. Now Dan tells me this woman is still seeing her boyfriend and Dan living there for a couple of weeks till he finds another house, is strictly platonic.

My heart wants to believe this but my head is finding it hard to trust him anymore. He calls here and asks to come see me every couple of days, still tells me he loves me and he has issues he needs to work on. He started to see a counselor and says he needs to work on himself before he can work on our relationship. I did agree with that. This is the second time he's done this to me. I don't have a revolving door on my heart and I will not do that to my son. My son is my number 1 priority and his well being. He along with me need stability in our lives not someone who comes in and out when he's feeling good.

I do love Dan very much. I hope that he does get his shit together. I just know I can't live like this. I went and saw my own doctor yesterday due to all the stress I've been under. He took me off of work till the 30th of this month so I can get my life back together and spend some quality time with my son. I am also going to start seeing a counselor tomorrow to talk about everything that's happened in the past year to me. I never sought grief counseling, thought I could do it on my own. I thought I could get through this break up easier than I have because of all that I've gone through in the past year. I was wrong. I need to become strong again, not just for my son, but for myself.

One thing that is kinda funny in this whole situation is, Dan told me the other day that when people found out that I was single again, guys would come knockin. Dan has trust issues with me and is jealous, though he hid it from me, until recently. It's one of his biggest issues that he has and he has to fix that. But the funny thing is, a neighbor who is acquantances of Dan came over and asked where Dan has been. I told him what happened and we talked for a bit. He then told me that he knows it's too soon to ask me out but wanted to let me know he's interested and if we could have coffee sometime. He's very good looking, nice guy, etc. I'm just not ready. I want to take time for myself now and my son. I'm not getting involved again with anyone for a long time.

So that's what's been going on in my world lately. Stress, stress, heartbreak and more stress.

Having Boys

has it's good points and bad... Or maybe it's just the teenage thing. Everyday having to remind them to clean their room, pick their clothes off the living room floor, feed the dogs, don't leave dirty dishes on the counter, we do have a dishwasher, take your lunch to school, etc, etc, etc. I know I would eventually being going through this with Braydon when he hits their age, but man... it's taking a bit getting used to. I am used to leaving the house clean when I go out and coming home to a clean house... not no more... There's lots of adjustments, stuff that I have to loosen up on. It's an adjustment for all of us, though the two middle boys seem to be doing just great. I love them as my own. They're polite, thank yous after every meal, thank you for taking us on the boat, thank you for everything. They are little gentlemen already. Will help me with bags, without being asked, will open doors, etc. My boys are sensitive, will talk about their feelings, come to me for opinions, want to do good. They have great senses of humour. They love to tease me and make me laugh. They idolize their Dad and seem a bit in awe of him. They're also not used to seeing a stable relationship. They have that now with Dan and I. You can tell they like it. Though, they'll go oh gross, or stuff, when they see us kissing. Which is funny, because I remember doing the same thing when I was their age with my parents.

My Mom has become a great source of inspiration for me. She raised 4 girls herself, so she has lots of on hand experience, especially the teenage part. I respect her so much more than I ever did, now that I'm going through it myself.

I am truly happy though with my family. These boys are all going to grow up to be great men. They have good hearts and each already has their individual talents. I am proud of them all.

My Birthday

It was my birthday May 31st. Had to work an evening shift. When I got home, the boys and Dan were waiting with a cake. It was very sweet. Dan had pre arranged with me that we'd celebrate my birthday on June 1st. So that morning he told me to be ready by 5:00 and get dressed up. Then at ten minutes to 5, he tells me to pack my overnight stuff. I was extremely excited, have never had a surprise like this. So we leave the house and drive up into the mountains. He ended up taking me to Elkhorn Resort and Spa. He had reserved their largest and nicest suite. I was shocked. It was absolutely beautiful. Our patio overlooked the valleys and mountains and pastures where horses were grazing.

He brought along a bottle of kahlua (the only kind of alcohol I really like), a shrimp ring and crab dip with crackers for later on that evening. We had a drink on the patio then he took me to the Resort Restaurant. The meal was to die for, and he had them bring me a birthday desert where he sang happy birthday to me and the other diners clapped afterwards. After supper we went back to our room and sat out on the patio having a couple of drinks. We also tried out the gorgeous jucuzzi tub. It was a magical night where I felt like a princess.

I've never had anyone do anything that special for me before. I teased him the next morning asking him how he was going to top this one for next year's birthday.

I love him so much.

Good weekend

Yesterday started off cloudy, but by mid afternoon the sun came out. I took the boys fishing while Dan was at work. Only Dylan caught one. Had fun anyways. Brady loved it.

Today was sunny and spent the afternoon tyding up the yard and cleaning the van. Brady had a fever all day and had to give him meds every few hours. Took him to OPD tonight and of course, he didn't have a fever then and the doctor whom I don't like, looked at him. Said he didn't have an ear infection, yet Brady says his ears hurt and won't let me touch them. Hmmm usually nevers tells me that. Anyways, he gave me a prescription just in case. Tried to "inform" me about feberal seizures and tell me that kids usually don't show any signs before having them. To which I replied, well since my son has had six in the last eight months he has always showed the same signs and tonight is the beginning.

Anyways, Brady is back home and in bed. I've given him more Motrim and hopefully he'll fall asleep soon. Will fill the prescription tomorrow and have him take it.

Dan starts his first 3 weeks of holidays tomorrow. I only work Wednesday and Thursday of this week. So not too bad.

We're Living Together

Brady and I have moved in with Dan and his three sons. We've been here about two weeks now and the rest of the heavy furniture was moved yesterday. Am so happy. Brady is so happy. Dan's son's, who are 15, 13 and 11 love and are great with Braydon. He loves them too. Idolizes the oldest, has tons of fun with the younger two.

Which means, I am now the only girl in a house of boys. I'm also the step mom to these 3. I love the boys with all my heart. They treat me well and like me too. We're all getting along extremely well. Of course, it's only the beginning and am sure we'll have a couple of run ins. So far, so good, though. They're all into hockey, love fishing and camping. Brady has gotton into it too along with them. It can be loud, have to get used to all the milk that we go through a day, am constantly busy and constantly cleaning, but I'm in heaven. Hardly have any time for the computer or myself. Now, I know what it's like having a large family, which I've always wanted. If I go to hide in mine and Dan's room to take a breather, one will be sure to soon follow to see what I'm doing and then the rest will come in too. My son has brothers now, has a Dad again. He sees how happy his mommy is and how good Dan treats her.

Dan and I are totally in love. We've fit into living together easily and are not just having fun, but are creating a warm and happy environment to raise our family. We live half a block from the hospital so we can walk to work. The house is great, the yard is beautiful. Tucker and Dan's dog get along great and Max the cat is in his glory. Tucker has really taken to our 11 year old.

I finally have the large family I've always wanted, finally have the man of my dreams, Brady finally has siblings and a great role model for a father in Dan. I couldn't be more happy.

Here is a pic of Dan and I taken a couple of weeks ago and one of just him, laughing.

Went Red

K, here's a pic of the new hair color. Have had a lot of compliments on it so far. Course, Dan is all over it lol I like it, better than the blonde I had dyed it just before. Will take a better pic when it's curled etc., this pic is right before I went to work.

All about work

So I ended up applying for the full time position on Surgery/Maternity. It's between myself and another girl who is a .4. She has senority though. If the manager follows cupe laws, then she'll get the position over me. I'm told this .4 has a bad track record and always calls in sick, takes stress leave, etc and has also been flagged in the ER for pain meds. If she does end up gettting it, then I'm applying for her .4 on surgery and will pick up to match it. Hopefully will know soon.

The other night, had to work in the personal care home connected to the hospital. One of the residents is a hitter and I've always lucked out in the past. Not that night. Got punched twice in the arm. My partner, who was a man, had to strong arm the resident down. Pretty scarey. Have a bruise on my arm, but am ok otherwise. The joys of working with violent alzheimers residents.

Same night, one of my coworkers told me my tire was going flat on my van. Dan ended up changing it for me during supper break. Got the tire patched and is good as new now.

To work full time or not

A position has opened up on surgery as full time. A few people suggested that I should apply for it. Am really debating this. On one hand, I'd make a bit more money, get stat days, be out of the float pool, but on the other hand, I really like working only a .7. I like having my days off, like that my rotation is the same as Dan's. I can get by on my paychecks that I get now. So have a lot to think about, but not much time to as they will be posting that job right away.

May 1st

is going to be a very special day. Not going to say more for now, but am very, very excited about that day.